


don't turn around (letting you go)

by CS_WhiteWolf



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Half-Blood Prince, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-01
Updated: 2005-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-28 06:39:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5081482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CS_WhiteWolf/pseuds/CS_WhiteWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus comes to say goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't turn around (letting you go)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted {[here](http://cs-whitewolf.livejournal.com/21878.html)} on livejournal, July 2005 under the title 'Don't Go'.

He closed the door gently with a sigh, breathing deep the thick, cloying air of Grimmauld Place. His footsteps were slow, almost shuffling as he entered into the parlour- throwing his coat over the chair he knew was nearby and raising his wand to ignite the fire, intending to both warm and light the darkened room.

“You were holding her hand,” came a voice from the darkness.

Remus pivoted on the spot, a curse on- and past- his lips as he did so. A fire sprung to life in the grate in time for Remus to see a dark shape dive out of the area he’d aimed his curse at; the unfortunate couch busting into flames as his curse struck it instead.

His wand was quickly aimed at the darkened figure, standing back in the shadows, avoiding the light. He was breathing heavily, the sound of his heartbeat loud and thrumming against his ears as he peered almost desperately into the gloom.

“They think you betrayed us,” Remus’ hand shook only slightly as Severus finally stepped forward, the firelight playing over his pallid features. He looked more gaunt than he'd ever seen him before: the black smudges beneath his eyes giving him a hollow-eyed stare that sent a shiver of unease trembling the length of his spine.

“Of course they do, it’s what they were meant to think.” He said nothing further, asked no questions but still Remus felt required to answer; as though the silence between them was question enough.

“They knew about us," he breathed, words tripping over his tongue as he tried to explain, "I had to… I needed…”

“A cover. I know.”

His face remained impassive even as his eyes- two black spots glittering with the light of the fire- stared into Remus' own.

Silence again, hanging heavy between them, almost claustrophobic with the already suppressing feel of the house they were in. A log cracked in the fireplace and Remus jerked round at the sound, his gaze wrenched from Severus’ own- Severus who hadn’t made even the slightest attempt to read his thoughts.

He realised he still had his wand drawn and lowered it, his focus now on the dancing flames in the fire beside him, his body tensed and waiting as Severus took the opportunity to step closer, then closer still; close enough so that Remus could feel the heat of the other man’s body more than he felt that of the fire before him.

“Severus,” he half-whispered, half-whimpered as the man stepped behind him, his hands coming to rest on his arms; his touch just light enough (not enough) as his fingers curled around his upper arms.

“You shouldn’t be here," he breathed, shivering, "anyone could come by.”

Severus stepped closer again, pressing his chest against Remus’ back; his breath ghosting across the back of the werewolf’s neck.

“Are you expecting anyone?” The rumble of his voice only accentuated as he pitched his tone lower, matching the furtive hush of Remus' own.

Long fingers ran up the side of his arm, over the curl of his shoulder before sliding sensuously up the length of his neck before circling it and holding it cupped in the palm of his hand; feeling the bob of Remus’ Adam's apple as he swallowed thickly, shaking his head en lieu of words. Severus rubbed soothingly at his throat, fingers dipping down until they were able to trace his collarbone, to slip down into the hollow of his neck, to feel there the heat of the skin beneath the werewolf’s clothes.

“Severus,” Remus’ moan was breathy, needy as he arched into the feather-light touches. His hands twitched at his sides, longing to reach back and touch, but he kept them curled, unmoving: one around his wand in a grip so tight he feared he would snap the wood; the other cutting crescent-moons indentations into the palm of his hand.

A lingering kiss was pressed to the back of his neck, a heavy exhale of air through his nose, before all contact was gone. An instant and chilling sense loss creeping its way along the length of his spine.

Remus pivoted on the spot- his face coming but inches from Severus’ own.

“Good luck with her.”

But Remus was shaking his head even before he'd finished speaking. “It’s not her I want.”

Hot breath ghosted across his lips, making them tingle in expectation as Severus leaned in a little closer.

“But it’s her you need.”

“I need you,” Remus’ eyes were pleading. Severus looked away, eyes flickering down to the slightly-parted mouth, leaning in just a little more.

“Severus...” Neither a whimper or a whisper, neither a moan of want and need, instead: a groan of pain, of suffering, a begging plea to the man standing almost impassively before him.

Severus just closed his eyes.

“I must.” His lips barely touched Remus’ as he spoke.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I must,” he repeated, and then his lips were upon his own, hot and shaky against his mouth. Remus’ breath hitched, eyes fluttering closed, a single tear falling from his eyes as Severus pulled away. He kept them closed as he heard the footsteps circle him, heading to the fireplace, tried to block his ears to the clinking as the floo-pot was used.

“Please,” he choked above the building lump in his throat.

The whooshing sound of the fireplace as the floo was used, a barely audible voice calling out an unintelligible destination, and then he was gone. Gone. Just like that. And Remus didn’t know when he’d ever see him again, or even if he’d ever see him again.


End file.
